Macabre movie addict Jessie Robbins picks another favorite flick for a Saturday night.
I was 14-years-old when I saw my first 18A film at the theater. My cool older brother and his cool girlfriend (now cool wife) took me to the theater, with our parents permission of course, to go and see FREDDY VS. JASON. At the time I wasnt very well-versed in either films universe but I had seen a couple from each. Luckily, in both cases, FVJ kind of sums up the basics from each series, so for the younger, less educated viewers, it all still made sense. Except for the hookah smoking caterpillar scene. WTF was that all about?
The premise of FVJ is kind of perfect, Freddy Krueger, lying dormant in his own hell, made weak and impotent after the teens from Springwood forgot about him, telepathically reaches out to Jason Voorhees in the guise of his mother and convinces him to arise. His work isnt done, he must go to Springwood and kill the teenagers on Elm Street, thus inciting a rise of fear and panic in Freddys old stomping grounds. People begin whispering his name, too afraid to fall asleep. And with every new kill, Freddy gets stronger and stronger.
A lot of slasher films suffer from a pretty fatal flaw, that being the lack of characterization. The result of which is that the audience cant sympathize for soon-to-be-dead victims, therefore making the kills less scary, less shocking, more boring. And yeah, maybe that makes us all a bunch of sociopaths, but my point is that FREDDY VS. JASON reigns supreme in a very specific way. Instead of making us care about the victims, FVJ does this little ingenious thing where it makes you HATE the victims, or at least find them annoying enough that right before they die, you find yourself uttering those six little words, oh my God JUST KILL THEM.
Therein lies the charm of FVJ. There are people you actually start to give a crap about, maybe they die, but the most important part is that the assholes get it too. And in much gorier, satisfying ways (she said, sadistically). Gibbs shitty boyfriend? Bed squished. Guy who tries getting with Gibb when shes passed out? Impaled and like Hay tossed Its like a massacre of assholes. THE ELM STREET ASSHOLE MASSACRE (2003). Also, poor Gibb.
When Freddy gets pulled out of Dreamland and that generic metal riff starts up I always giggle like a little girl. Because come on, everybody ends up cheering for Jason, am I right? Hes the only one out of the two made sympathetic.
At times comical (got your NOSE) and others just down right cringe-worthy (aforementioned bed scene, while still not being my favorite bed kill in the series, #RIPGlen) there is certainly a lot of blood gushing out of every possible place. By the end of the epic one-on-one fight scene, Jason and Freddy are essentially reduced to weak, floppy blood bags, blood just squishing out of them like big supernatural sponges.
Anyway. 14-year-old me was so damned excited to get to see this movie with my cool, Foo Fighters loving older brother and I had an awesome time. This film will always be one of my go-to’s for the little nostalgia and the badassery of it all, but also for the surprise I got after I got home. Later that evening, bathed in the glow of my computer screen, MSN and Myspace reflected in the lenses of my glasses, I hear someone say Jess from my doorway. I turned, and saw my dad dressed in coveralls with a hockey mask on and an axe in his hand. I screamed and dad just laughed and laughed I may have gotten my initial love of horror from my mom, but I got my sick sense of humor from my dad.
Stay scared babies.
