Horror remakes are a tricky thing. When done well, a horror remake expands on the original’s premise, offering new ideas and updated filming techniques. When done poorly, it leaves a mark that can even taint the original. Some of these suggested films are classics that must be handled with care; others are lesser-known films that deserve a larger audience. We understand the reverence that many fans hold for these movies and — in a perfect world — each film would be treated with the utmost concern and respect. For the purposes of this article, we’re going to assume the hypothetical filmmaker is a huge fan of the movie he or she is reimaging.
10) The Exorcist (1973)
We know, we know. Including this film on a list of remakes is more sacrilegious than shoving across into an undisclosed location. Still, though — hear us out. The Exorcist, released in 1973, is still regarded as one of the scariest movies of all time. It spawned several sequels and a television series. Yet, in a world of remakes, this film has remained untouched. Sure, there have been a string of imitators, but nobody has been brave enough to take on Captain Howdy. Is this because it’s too intimidating? Is it too scary? Is it because of the supposed ‘curse’ that plagued the original production? We’re not sure but we do know that we want to see a remake, as long as it’s made by a passionate and talented filmmaker.
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9) Ginger Snaps (2000)
As a relatively recent addition to the horror genre, Ginger Snaps has already developed a cult-like following of angry teenagers. It centers on two sisters, played by Katharine Isabelle and a post-IT, pre-Supernatural Emily Perkins, who become werewolves. They must navigate these changes while also dealing with typical teenage girl issues. It was a powerful film that produced two sequels. It leaned in hard on female empowerment. It was a #metoo movie before there was a #metoo movement. Now would be a perfect time to revisit this tale, putting an even more modern spin on a classic trope. The world needs a mean, vengeful girl movie and remaking Ginger Snaps would be the perfect way to do it.
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8) Rosemary’s Baby (1968)
Technically, there’s already been a remake of Rosemary’s Baby, but it was made for TV, it wasn’t very good and nobody actually remembers it, anyway. Like Ginger Snaps, this is a great film to make during an era that is seeing women demand the respect and bodily autonomy they should be getting by default but alas, society. A film dealing with rape (even by one’s husband), as well as one that tackles the always-tricky issue of abortion, could be as big of a political statement as it would be a horror movie. We wouldn’t even need the creepy neighbors, Satan worshippers, or Antichrist baby. Though, it would help. You can’t call the film Rosemary’s Political Statement.
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7) The Clown at Midnight (1998)
Clowns are, like, so in right now. With the success of IT, as well as the success of lesser-known films like Terrifier and various seasons of American Horror Story, there has never been a better time to be a Killer Klown, whether they’re from outer space or not. That’s why we think a filmmaker should take another crack at the 1998 film, The Clown at Midnight. This movie was basically like The Phantom of the Opera, except instead of an opera, the location is a currently-being-renovated-by-Margot-Kidder theater. And instead of a phantom, the antagonist is Pagliacci, the Sad Clown. The Clown at Midnight was seriously creepy when it came out, but it never gained much of an audience, With ‘High School Horror’ films such as The Gallows bringing in the big, okay decently-sized, bucks now would be a great time for Pagliacci to sing his song to a new batch of annoying drama nerds.
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6) Hostel (2005)
We literally just want this movie to follow the same plot of the original, but instead of a hostel, it’s an Air BnB. Seriously, who hosts people in their own homes? They have to be insane, right?
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5) From Dusk till Dawn (1996)
Obviously, we all know what From Dusk till Dawn is about now, but we have to imagine that when theater-goers saw this movie as it first came out, they were confused as hell. What starts out as a crime thriller suddenly turns into a vampire movie and we actually end up rooting for the bad guys! Sometimes, directors remake their own movie when they have a new and different way to tell their story. We think Robert Rodriguez should do that with this film. There were a couple sequels and even a television show based on this film, but all of them lacked the character that the original possesses. We want a new take by the man who made the original.
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4) American Psycho (2000)
American Psycho was written as a satire about the yuppie culture of New York in the 1980’s. A remake, satirizing the entitlement of the Millenial Generation, would be a big hit. In the hands of the right writer/director (Edgar Wright or David Green, please) a remake of American Psycho would, perhaps, be the look in the mirror that America so desperately needs right now. The question is, would we be scared of what we saw in the reflection? Cause it probably doesn’t look like Christian Bale.
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3) The Stand (1994)
A remake of The Stand has been rumored for a while and might actually already be “in development,” but nothing absolutely concrete has happened yet. We really, really want it to happen. The original 4-part miniseries was a star-studded affair that has, admittedly, not aged well. We still love it, however, and The Stand is probably Stephen King’s Magnum Opus (an argument could be made that the Dark Tower series is his M.O., but we’ve seen how well that transition to film did). An updated version of the apocalyptic epic, especially since we’re probably of the brink of an apocalypse ourselves, would be quite the task, but it’s one that would bear dividends
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2) Clownhouse (1989)
Despite a great premise, the problem with the original Clownhouse is that it was made by a real monster, director Victor Salva. The film was the set of real-life horrors and thus it has been rightfully banished from public memory. But could the concept be salvaged or would it simply inflict more damage? The basic plot of Clownhouse is simple: three psychos dress up as clowns and terrorize a family. If a filmmaker were to strike update the concept, it might work. People are terrified of clowns and the idea of a bunch of ‘em coming into our homes to murder our brothers is one that would make even the bravest soul look at Ronald McDonald a little differently.
1) Urban Legend (1998)
Stop us if you’ve heard this one. A fairly standard plot. An all-star cast of teenage heartthrobs. A hooded killer. A twist ending. Those are the ingredients that made up the majority of 90’s slasher films but, for some reason, Scream is put on a pedestal while Urban Legend is left in the dust. This is a shame, as Urban Legend is a perfectly acceptable entry into modern horror mythos. A killer who uses Urban Legends to do his (or herb) killing is ripe with opportunities for sequels and, sadly, the two sequels to the original Urban Legend failed to make any sort of impact. Or profit. We think a remake of the film, with a new cast, a new twist, and new takes on spooky tales would be a big hit these days.
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