#9
Sin City: A Dame to Kill For
DIRS. Robert Rodriquez & Frank Miller
There was talk of a Sin City 3 before Sin City: A Dame to Kill For even hit theaters. Once the several-years-too-late sequel finally arrived that talk was no more and for good reason, as the quote from my review suggests, this was a redundant bit of face-punching for an hour and 42 minutes with little to nothing else to contribute. In some instances that can work, but it was impossible to differentiate one moment of violence from the next. Considering the interesting visual approach to the filmmaking it’s almost astonishing how bad it all was.
REVIEW SNIPPET:
A Dame to Kill For is ultimately it’s own worst enemy. For all the creative kills it employs — head smashing, eye-gouging, arrows, samurai swords, broken fingers, etc. — after the first few they all blend together. The umph is lost in the reductive repetition, one bludgeoning scene after another.
Read my full review here.
#8
Pompeii
DIR. Paul W.S. Anderson
It wasn’t until I started compiling this list that I remembered Pompeii even existed. It used to be that disaster pics like this felt like camp, but nowadays they take themselves so damned seriously you can’t even really sit back and laugh at them.
Of course, older films feel more campy now because of the sets and effects, something today’s films obviously have a much stronger hold on. Does that make my complaint unfair? I really don’t think so because it also comes down to just how seriously these films take themselves, forgetting they’re making a movie about a slave and a princess that fall in love while a volcano erupts around them. Even James Cameron’s Titanic had a little more sense to create comical characters surrounding its silly plot line… and I personally love Titanic.
REVIEW SNIPPET:
Take the plot of Gladiator, set it at the foot of an active volcano, strip away any attempt at character building and you have Pompeii as director Paul W.S. Anderson (Resident Evil, Death Race) delivers upon expectations. There are no surprises here, nor should we expect any from the man that brought us The Three Musketeers. Not only is Pompeii bad, it’s so bad I can’t help but wonder how serious anyone in front of and behind the camera must have taken it.
Read my full review here.
#7
A Million Ways to Die in the West
DIR. Seth MacFarlane
When comedy fails you get A Million Ways to Die in the West and I found it strange how many people actually agreed with me on this one considering I felt so alone in disliking Ted, a film that made my “Top Ten Most Disappointing Movies of 2012” list. Next up is Ted 2 and I’m not expecting much.
REVIEW SNIPPET:
I wasn’t much of a fan of MacFarlane’s Ted, which beat its jokes into the ground to the point they were no longer funny, and this one does the same thing only it does so within the first 5-10 minutes. Beyond that I was just waiting for it to end.
Read my full review here.
