Cast:
Oded Fehr as Ray
Shannon Beckner as Tilda
Ryan Kennedy as Bobby
Adrien Dorval as Gordy
Directed by Eric Valette
Review:
How in the world did Super Hybrid get made? Who read this script and decided to provide funding? How did seemingly competent filmmakers produce such a wretched, worthless mess?
I have not seen Malefique, director Eric Valette’s 2002 feature that put him on the map and got him 2008’s One Missed Call remake, but apparently it’s a pretty good movie. One Missed Call is The Godfather compared to Super Hybrid.
And screenwriter Neal Marshall Stevens has also done much better than this. Thirteen Ghosts is moderately entertaining and at least feels like a movie made by people somewhat aware of how to piece together a coherent motion picture.
Valette and Stevens have collaborated on what is easily the worst horror movie this writer has seen this year. It’s not an example of something that is so bad it’s good. That would have been most welcome. This movie is so bad it defies all logic and reason. It is unbelievably excruciating to sit through. 90 minutes felt like 90 days.
The story (such as it is) involves a creature that disguises itself as automobiles. Why does it do this? Who knows. It just does, and it has the ability to instantly change into whatever vehicle it wants to. And then, as a brief opening sequence demonstrates, it traps people inside and somehow eats them. We never do get a good look as to how it goes about this, or why it wants to eat people.
The killer car is in Chicago, probably to catch a Cubs game and check out the Magnificent Mile. It drives to a city garage that is about to be closed to undergo renovations. A ragtag group of annoying future victims led by the boss, Ray (Oded Fehr), and heroine Tilda (Shannon Beckner) is preparing the garage for construction, moving vehicles, and getting things in order.
Soon the killer car is disposing of the garage employees. Tilda manages to figure out what is going on, and Ray and the others finally believe her after seeing the car repeatedly change and chase them.
So what do these geniuses decide to do after realizing that a car is trying to kill them? Why, capture it and sell the story for $250,000 of course. They hatch a plan to force the car into a deep elevator shaft where it will have nowhere to go.
At this point we are not even halfway through Super Hybrid. The duration includes scene after scene of people quietly looking for car, being chased by the car, and trying to avoid the car.
To make matters worse there is never any payoff when the car does manage to catch and kill. For some reason this movie is rated PG-13, as if the producers believed it was going to get a wide release and appeal to teens. There is zero gore and hardly any blood, and the kills are boring and unimaginative.
It takes itself way too seriously. Unlike most Syfy movies, all of which are masterpieces in comparison, there is no goofy charm or intentional silliness. Super Hybrid fancies itself a serious thriller.
How about the creature itself? It’s got kind of large snake head and long tentacles. The CGI is beyond terrible. It’s like an early â90s video game in quality. Any random Syfy feature has vastly superior computer effects.
To add insult to injury, the acting is stiff and atrocious, and the dialogue contains non-stop howlers. Here’s a sample exchange that’s a good representation:
“It’s like a shapeshifter.”
“Yeah, like one of those robots from outer space.”
Soon after that a character remarks that it’s probably been “evolving for millions of years.”
I’m tempted to recommend watching it if only so people can see for themselves how mind-numbingly awful it is, but life is too short. That would be 90 minutes you’d never get back. It’s not worth it. I have absolutely nothing nice to say about Super Hybrid. It’s an embarrassment for all involved.
