Tuesday night has arrived, which means another episode of Disney’s The Acolyte is upon us. We only have two more to go, including tonight, so the nightmare journey is almost complete. Read on for our The Acolyte Episode 7 recap, spoilers, and Episode 8 theories.
Questions remain. Which path will Osha and Mae choose? Is Qimir the real villain? What really happened at the witch’s coven all those years ago? Will Osha get down and dirty with her new master’s, er, lightsaber? Will Disney watch the recent (and fantastic) episode of House of the Dragon and decide to, I don’t know, try harder with Star Wars?
I suppose we should finish the whole season before tackling that last question. In the meantime, The Acolyte Episode 7 — here we go!
Star Wars: The Acolyte Episode 7 recap and spoilers
The Acolyte Episode 7 revolves around the fateful night on the planet Brendock 16 years earlier. Except, this time, we get it from the Jedi’s perspective. We open with Sol, Indara, Kelnacca, and whats-his-face doing some shit. A conversation around a campfire sheds more light on their mission. The group has dedicated significant time to the search for a Vergence in the Force. Considering the galaxy’s vastness, they must always feel Vergences. And now I know what the Jedi do on their off days.
“It’s not wise to insult a Wookiee’s cooking,” Indara says. Remember when Han Solo said something similar to Luke in Star Wars? Remember? REMEMBER?!
Torbin wants to go home and whines as all men do in Disney Star Wars. Indara shushes her stupid male partner, as all women do in Disney Star Wars. Granted, he has been eating nuna legs for a long ass time. I would whine, too.
[Side note, according to Wookieepedia: Nuna drumsticks, also known as deep-fried nuna legs, were a meat dish made from the legs of the nuna (swamp turkeys). Humans, Latero, and Twi’leks could consume the dish.]
The following day, Sol tells Indara that he’s worried about Torbin. “Don’t confuse his feelings with your own,” she snaps, a recurring theme throughout the episode. “I teach him to seek the answers for himself … and that’s why I have a Padawan, and you do not.”
Burn.
The next ten minutes or so recount the events of Episode 4 from Sol’s perspective. He sees the twins, Osha and Mae, torturing butterflies by a tree, talking to Lady Darth Maul, and learning the ways of the Thread. He doesn’t stay around long enough to hear their bizarre chant, nor do we, which is good.
Ultimately, Sol sees enough to believe these strange witches are abusing the hell out of Mae and Osha. Fair enough. He runs to Indara and flips the hell out. She says, “Patience, guy,” and he says, “No time; they are in danger!”
Sol is a loose cannon, always on the verge of tears. Indara, ever the noble, graceful, perfect being, advises him to calm down and then agrees to investigate further.
“We must be vigilant,” she says.
And then they all just sort of walk into the witch fortress.
Next, we get the same scene of the Jedi confronting the witches. Mother Aniseya infects Torbin’s mind and converses with him telepathically. “You want to go home,” says the noble, graceful, perfect being.
“I want to go to Coruscant,” he blubbers, tears streaming down his face. Good Lord, how did this kid become a Jedi?
Later, on their ship, immediately following the tense conversation, Sol stares hard at Torbin like he’s a pathetic piece of shit for letting Aniseya inside his brain. It’s a little awkward.
Then, he explains to Indara that Osha is meant to be his Padawan. “I worry she’s not safe,” he says. “I believe she wants to leave with us.”
“Do not confuse what Osha wants with what you want,” Indara, ever the noble, graceful, perfect being, snaps, genuinely perplexing Sol. No, really, he stands by himself, mouth agape, for a good while, looking slightly pathetic.
We jump to the next morning and revisit the testing scene. Mae happily fails. When Osha does the same, Sol gives her a pep talk, which angers Indara. I don’t know what the show is going for here. Is Sol meant to be some sort of creeper? Does he often go around snatching kids he feels a connection to? At any rate, later that night, Indara proclaims that the Jedi Council does not sanction bringing the twins to Coruscant.
Sol and Torbin freak the hell out.
“Do not alter the course of this girl’s destiny because you have formed an emotional attachment to her,” Indara, ever the noble, graceful, perfect being, calmly says.
“That’s not what is happening here,” Sol screams, on the verge of tears.
Torbin, also on the verge of tears, wants to go home to meditate for a decade or something.
The Wookiee doesn’t give a f—.
Suddenly, Torbin gets an alert on his, uh, Jedi laptop. Osha and Mae’s Midichlorine count is extremely high, and their symbionts are the same. “This is impossible without some sort of manipulation.”
“The twins were artificially created,” Sol gasps. How the hell did he come to THAT conclusion? “Only a vergence could create that type of power.”
Torbin perks up. “This is it! This is our ticket home!”
No one tries very hard to stop the young Padawan as he leaps on a scooter and zips to the temple. Indara looks more annoyed than alarmed. “Go get him,” she tells Sol, rolling her eyes.
Meanwhile, Lady Darth Maul attacks Mae with the Thread. The child blocks her attack, I guess signaling that she’s ready for combat. “Very good,” her mom snarls. “Get mad!” Mae heads off to burn her sister alive. Except, it turns out the fire was an accident. Mae was merely trying to burn Osha’s book, but the fire got out of control, and the rock fortress burned as though it were made of wood.
“Witches, arm yourselves,” Lady Darth Maul screams as the Jedi approach. Hilarious.
Sol and Torbin “sneak” into the fortress and walk straight into Lady Darth Maul’s trap … again. Aniseya confronts them. “Some day, those noble intentions you all have will destroy every Jedi in the galaxy.” That’s a false prophecy because, according to Disney Star Wars, hundreds of Jedi live peaceful lives across the galaxy following Order 66. I mean, I assume she’s referencing Order 66.
Mae arrives frantically, screaming, “Fire!” like Will Ferrell in Talladega Nights.
Aniseya responds by turning into a cloud of smoke. Remember, none of the Jedi have ever seen her do this before. A cooler head would have turned to Sol and explained, “I’m going to turn into smoke to save my kids. Don’t freak out by stabbing me in the chest with your lightsaber.” Instead, she suddenly turns into a cloud of smoke, and Sol stabs her in the chest with his lightsaber.
Hilariously, she looks at the perplexed Jedi and says, “I was gonna let you have Osha, you f—ing moron.”
She could have led with that statement. At least she didn’t mention Aegon.
Of course, Mae sees all of this firsthand, kickstarting her bitter quest to eliminate the Jedi by mastering the art of the Thread, perfecting her knife-throwing skills, and teaming up with a terrifying Sith Lord … until she has a change of heart while walking through the woods en route to her next assassination. Crazy.
Lady Darth Maul does the black smoke thing, but before Sol can stab her, she infects the Wookiee. A furious battle ensues between Torbin, Sol, and their harry mate, although the tension is undercut by shots of the witches rhythmically dancing together like the Na’vi in Avatar. Torbin and Sol are bitches. Thus, they can’t do a damn thing against the Wookiee. Thank God, Indara, ever the noble, graceful, perfect being, arrives and stops the fight.
The next part is confusing. I think Indara’s “warbling” caused all the witches to die, hence why they’re all lying around the fortress. I don’t know.
Anyways, Sol saves Osha, and Indara instructs him to tell her a lie to keep her happy. He’s not the Jedi we deserve but the one we need right now. On the verge of tears, Sol does what he’s ordered — and that’s the big lie that caused so much damage to this Jedi troupe, leading Torbin to commit friggin’ suicide out of guilt. Ironically, he had the least to do with anything that happened, but that’s how The Acolyte Episode 7 ends.
The Acolyte Episode 7 theories and thoughts
Here’s the thing. I see what The Acolyte Episode 7 is trying to do — actually, scratch that. I have no idea what this show is trying to do or say. Really, it feels like a stand-alone series about a group of terrible Jedi cops who pulled an Andy and rightfully overreacted to an incredibly peculiar situation.
The biggest issue is that we don’t know any of these people. So, when someone like Sol starts acting irrationally, we don’t know if he’s nuts or just being himself. Perhaps learning that a coven of witches beat him as a child or that he recently watched Sound of Freedom would help explain his insane behavior.
Ditto with Torbin. Why does this guy want to go home so bad? He’s a Jedi. He devoted his life to the cause, and now he’s complaining that he can’t go to Coruscant to … what? Practice his lightsaber flourishes? According to the prequels, the Jedi have no life outside their religion. It’s not like he has a love interest or family to look forward to. He’s behaving like a moron because the script needs a reason for him to go berserk.
More questions:
- Why does Indara turn against Sol so quickly? The pair appear to have a good relationship, likely developed after years of working together. He gets a funny feeling about a kid, and she immediately starts glaring at him like he’s Jeffrey Dahmer.
- Why did they bring the Wookiee? He doesn’t contribute to their mission in any way, shape, or form. He doesn’t even chime in during their heated discussions. He’s there because someone said, “Hey, we’ve never seen a Wookiee Jedi. Let’s throw one in.”
- Where the hell does Qimir fit into all of this? Are we going to see the same flashback scene from his perspective?
- Why is Anesaya, a cool, level-headed woman, married to Lady Darth Maul, a quick-tempered monster, willing to go to battle without much provocation?
A story like this requires nuanced characters so that we understand why they make their choices, good or bad. I don’t know any of these people because A) the episodes aren’t long enough to introduce anything beyond essential plot details, B) the characters only speak in general platitudes, and C) the showrunners cannot seem to develop more than broad characterizations, i.e., women = noble and men = problematic.
Where is this all heading? You may think I’m nuts, but I still believe Lady Darth Maul is alive and will end up as the big bad. We saw Aniseya die, but her lover merely vanished in a cloud of smoke. Would anyone be surprised if she turned out to be Darth Plagueis?
The series will end with a “thrilling” Mae vs. Osha lightsaber battle. Osha will be seduced by the Dark Side of the Thread but return to the light after realizing how much her sister loves her. The pair will then unite against Qimir and maybe even their mother. This checks the Frozen portion of Leslye Headland’s premise.
The 15% of viewers who awarded this series a positive review on RottenTomatoes will cheer.
